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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676988">Janus’ diary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_ssreid/pseuds/Dr_ssreid'>Dr_ssreid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To all of the things we couldn’t say, and to the fucked up people we became. [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abused Deceit | Janus Sanders, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Romance, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders’ Parent, M/M, Minor Character Death, Morality | Patton Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Multi, Murder Husbands, serial killer au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:27:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>220</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_ssreid/pseuds/Dr_ssreid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Why do I have this? I don’t know but I stole it from Walmart so at-least it was free.</p><p>-<br/>Janus</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To all of the things we couldn’t say, and to the fucked up people we became. [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Janus’ diary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is always a first time for everything.</p><p>The first time you felt something. The first time you lied. He’d always remember his first. No not his first kiss.</p><p>
  <strong>It was April 27,1989. </strong>
</p><p>He was 10.</p><p>His family always thought he was the devil reincarnated. It didn’t help that they once found him, choking a stray dog to death once. Okay maybe not once, maybe like three times in a row.</p><p>That was the <strike>only thing they noticed about  </strike>only time they noticed him.<br/>
They focused more on his siblings, his perfect siblings who didn’t like the same sex. The ones who they fed, brought to school and didn’t lock in closets for kissing a boy.</p><p>They had to have known he would break, at some point.<br/>
They had to have known the second they stepped foot in that church, the second he was tied down, the second he got out. </p><p><em>They had to have known?</em><br/>
Could they still see him as he stood over their bodies?<br/>
Could they still feel his hands on their necks- minutes after they had passed?<br/>
Could they sense the lies he told the cops? Could they see how he stabbed himself to prove his story?</p><p><em> Could they see him now? </em>As he sat at this shitty local bar, looking for the next them.</p>
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